Last night I was aiming to get my Zen on by attending a meditation session. When you picture the term 'meditation', it's often you or someone sitting on the floor, in a quiet place, focusing your attention on an object, say a candle, and letting your mind go blank. That's what I thought I'd be doing. Turns out there are more than one way to meditate and oftentimes meditation simply means being in a calm state and being present with who you are. But who am I? This question was posed to the gathering.
Who am I? I sat in that room clueless as ever. The goal of my mind going blank was officially achieved! It's a simple but profound question. If there is one thing we should all know above everything else, is who we are. Things tend to get a bit murky to downright dirty, though, over the years due to others telling us who we should be. For example, boys are told that being in the kitchen is for girls, while girls are told that engineering are for boys. "You're smart so you should be a doctor". "You're not going to get very far in life with those grades so it's best to do something that requires less brain power". So from the onset, you're gathering information from others to tell you who you should be.
When asked this question, many persons said, I am [insert your name]. This is merely a label to identify you. Some say I am a [insert your career or social status]. At this point, the speaker said something that stuck with me throughout the session, "What you do depends on who you are". So identifying yourself through your career, as I've done most of my life, is merely the role we play at this particular time.
Some persons have invested countless hours and money in their experiences and therefore, they assume that the result of these experiences makes them who they are. For example, throughout her childhood, Mary was told that she’d never find a husband who will accept her due to her being differently able. She grew up thinking that she was incapable of being loved. She knows better now. She has changed her perception of herself, shedding the information of who she should be as prescribed by others.
On this journey to discovering who I am, we were told that, "We are all peaceful beings". The core goal each human being tries to achieve is peace. Peace awakens thoughts of calmness, confidence, and is related to happiness and love. Forget what others have labeled you as - angry, emotionally unstable, stubborn. That's their perception of who you are. We're shedding the build-up of information given to us by others. We're starting at the core. We're all peaceful beings.
Achieving peace though is grueling and obstreperous work. I forget that I'm SUPPOSE to be a peaceful person when my assistant doesn't come to work that day due to the flu and there are two important deadlines the same day, when I get woken at 2AM by "sorry, wrong number", when someone's using my computer to 'check email' and I have several important reports and deadline to meet.
Our thoughts are the key we're told. Changing your thoughts can change your perception of the situation and change how you feel. If we have a negative thought at the beginning of the day, oftentimes our entire day becomes chaotic. If we wake up feeling good and positive, our day begins like an adventure, we're more willing to be tolerant. Tolerant also comes from accepting. We're more accepting of shortcomings from persons whom we love. Translating this to your boss may be an interesting process.
So how do we go about achieving this peace? We were told to wake early in the morning (a challenge in itself!) and have a conversation with yourself, reminding yourself and repeating the words "I am a peaceful being". Before running errands, conversing with anyone else, before the kids and the husband, and before thinking of that 'to-do' list that's running through your head at 100 miles per hr, remind yourself that you are a peaceful being.
The first step is important. I went to bed with the intention of waking up to converse with myself, beginning the journey to discovering who I am, so the next time someone asks me this, I’ll have some clue to who I am.
